Accepting God's Will When It's Hard

"Not my will, but thine, be done."

It is easy to accept God's will in our lives when it comes to the blessings we desire in life. Couples desiring to start a family have no trouble accepting God's will to bless them with a child. On the other hand, it is a tough pill to swallow when couples desiring to have children are faced with infertility instead. We see this all the time in life.

It is easy to accept God's will in our lives, except when it's not. 

There have been many times in my life when God's will for me wasn't exactly what I had in mind for my life. Some instances have been much harder to accept than others.

A year ago we were living in the San Diego area of California. Life, weather, and location were bliss. My husband was offered a job in Salt Lake City. We laughed at the idea...at first. After prayerful consideration we came to the realization that God had another plan for our lives that didn't include living in a resort-like vacation land forever. While my heart has longed for the beach and pristine weather for the last year, I've also seen the seemingly small but significant blessings we received through our move to Utah. I still don't see the entire picture, but I'm trying. 

Accepting God's will requires a lot of faith in the unseen big picture scenario. 

Moving is a small example, but one to which most can relate. One of the biggest blows so far has been my disability, and yet at the same time it has been one of the easiest for me to accept. At age 25 I was diagnosed with Addison's disease, a disability that challenges me every day of my life. My body can bare no more children. I pass out fairly frequently. My life is entirely dependent on medication. The smallest stressor, including accident or illness, can land me in the hospital fighting for my life. Some days are so bad I have to use a walker I've painted with gold glitter to get around. My life seems less than desirable from an outsider's perspective, but it is my life and, despite everything, I love it.

I once read a sermon titled "That We Might Not Shrink" that resounded with my soul. The greatest tests of faith in our life are not that we can be healed. They are the moments when we are not healed. It isn't just about physical illnesses or challenges, but also challenges that affect us mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. 

Sometimes God's will includes suffering.

In the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus Christ took upon himself the sins of the world and experienced the greatest suffering ever known to man.  In that moment of suffering Jesus proclaimed, "Not my will, but thine, be done" (Luke 22:41-44). The suffering was part of God's will. And in that dark hour did the heavens turn away? No. An angel was sent to strengthen Him.

Suffering is a part of life. We see it all around us. Some say it proves God doesn't exist because a loving God wouldn't allow such great suffering. Sometimes suffering crushes people. Other times great goodness rises from the ashes of suffering. My personal suffering generally pales in comparison to the great suffering of others. I have always had a deep reverence for the suffering experienced during the Holocaust. I have read dozens upon dozens of memoirs from individuals involved in the events. One thing that I have seen in these sacred memoirs is that, for some, the suffering turned the individual bitter and faithless. Others who came through the same camp were filled with hope and faith in both God and humankind. I don't know why that is, but we see it in all circumstances, from the simple to the extreme. That is the great test of life. 

Who are we when we are stretched beyond our personal limits?

We all experience suffering. While some appear to suffer more than others, I've learned that comparison doesn't work. Suffering is suffering and the feeling is valid and real no matter what it looks like on paper. It is these moments of suffering that define us. 

Accepting the will of God is much easier said than done. It is practiced. 

It is important to accept the will of God in the smaller every day things to practice for those times when our lives our shattered and our spirits broken. As Jesus suffered in the garden and proclaimed his faith and acceptance of God's will, God sent an angel to strengthen Him. This is one of the scripture passages I treasure and find filled with hope. In our greatest trials, and amidst our deepest suffering, we are not alone. 

God can and will send angels to strengthen us. 

We can push away the helping hand of heaven when it extends its grace. We can ignore it, or...we can embrace it with faith. Our faith may not be at the level of Jesus Christ to boldly proclaim "Thy will, not mine, be done," but at the very least we can proclaim our fear and weakness and cry out for help from the great God who created us. 

"My faith is weak, my spirit hurts, my will is not yours, but they will produces miracles and has the power to change and mold people for the better.

And so....thy will be done."